Mel D. on Potential

… as written to Jess a day before the AKC Southeast Championship:

“In July of this year (2008) I walked into the Ice Chamber for the first time and met with Steven to discuss my goals. I’d given him my background– I’d played Division I soccer in college, but that was 15 years, 1 badly broken foot, 2 kids, and what seemed like a lifetime ago. My goals were pretty simple. First and foremost I wanted to lose the baby weight. Not only did I miss my old clothes and my old body, but we were redoing our life insurance and at my current weigh our premium was going to be a killer. Beyond that, my wetsuit didn’t fit. And I really missed my wetsuit… though not that I had enough upper body strength to go surfing again any time soon.

That first day I worked out with you I remember thinking, “I can’t believe I’m paying someone to make me feel this way.” The second day, “This is harder than childbirth.” (And no, I’m not kidding.) My quads were so sore for the first two weeks that I had to crawl down the stairs in my house. There are a lot of stairs in my house.

Other IC members started to ask me what I was training for. I’d recite the goals I’d shared with Steven. But after a while it didn’t seem like enough. My arms didn’t hurt when I went surfing. I lost enough weight in the first 6 weeks that my life insurance premium dropped by $100 a month. Those first goals were starting to feel as though they were short term. Once I reached them what then?

Around that time my old soccer coach sent around an email about an alumni trip to Sweden that he was putting together for July 2009. For the first time I realized that doing something like that was not beyond the realm of the possible. I talked to him about the trip and he said he’d had a lot of interest from younger alums, people who were just a few years out. Not people like me. But how could I let an opportunity like that go by? If I really wanted to, could I do it? Could I play at that level again? What was I training for?

I added another goal to the list. Baby weight, surfing, and the alumni games in Sweden. A few weeks ago we measured my vertical jump at 16.” The last time it was measured was in college. It was 18.” You and I talked a lot about this, why this measurement was so significant to me, why it meant more to me than the weight loss, looking good in the mirror, being able to do exercises now that I couldn’t do when we first started. I couldn’t really articulate it at the time but I think I understand it now. This number to me is all about my potential. I had no idea I was still capable of a 16″ vertical jump so I assumed I wasn’t. How could I at 36 be even close to doing the same things I was doing at 20?

Potential has been on my mind a lot since that jump, potential and how it fits in with my goals. Speaking of goals, I hit that original one today when Steven weighed me. The baby weight is gone. I suppose I could have taken a moment to relish in it, but my immediate thought was if needed a new goal what should it be? Another five pounds? Another two inches? How about three? What was my bench press max in college anyway? What am I capable of? What is my potential? What am I training for?

I couldn’t name any goals. Not any numbers anyway. I don’t really know how to define my goals because a goal signifies an end point. And right now, I honestly can’t see the end. I don’t know how high I can jump. I don’t know how strong I can be. I may be 36 years old, but I think I am finally starting to grasp that my best days physically may not be behind me. Furthermore, whatever life throws at me, I know that I not only have the potential to excel, I also have the potential to do better than I ever have before.

So the next time someone asks what I’m training for I think I’ll have a better answer. I’m just training to be the best that I can be in life. The way I see it, if I can do what you want me to do in the gym I know I’ll be able to handle whatever happens outside of it.

Now go kick some ass this weekend.”